These warm fall days sure make for nice afternoons on the sidelines at the sporting event du jour. I write this as I find myself sport-less for the first time in close to fifteen years. I have been on the sidelines, or in the stands for Soccer, Scicoh Football, Field Hockey, and Lacrosse. I have seen the early development days of youth sports and the character development of high school sports. I was even fortunate enough to see one of my children play at the college level. To this day I am forever thankful to those parents who volunteered their time to coach or referee.
What I have learned from having gone the “full cycle” is how few kids from youth sports will ever play at the high school level, let alone the college level. And for those few athletes that will play at the college level, even fewer will get any kind of scholarship money to play sports. Do you know why? Because your kid is just not that good. Getting a full ride to some big-time program to play some sport in college is a fantasy for most. So stop it! Stop thinking about it. It won’t happen (statistically speaking).
Your kid is not that good. He/she really isn’t as good as you think he/she really is. You have blinders on. And even if your kid is the best in his/her grade, the stats say he/she won’t even play in college, let alone play at a top program.
I have learned a lot in my years watching youth through college sports. On the younger side of the spectrum, it is supposed to be about skills development and love of the game. But all too often the parents make it about winning. At the initial levels, it really needs to be about learning to love the game and how to be a good teammate, both on the field and off. I have seen kids whose bodies have not fully developed go from awkward gangly kids who one may guess would never develop into the great high school player that they became. I have also seen the grade school star just stop developing. And in this process, some potentially good athletes get turned off of sports. If you make the game fun for all the kids, the winning will surely follow. It always does. And it is not fun for the kids who show up on Saturday and ride the bench in favor of “the good kids”.
Here is something most people overlook. High School is the big stage. The vast majority of the kids on a high school team will not play at the college level. This is due in part to having the skills or not having them. But it is also in part due to competing interests. College sports are a large commitment, and not for everyone. So with that said, let the kids compete in High School. But anything prior to that, focus on making good athletes through skills development. Kids who have the skills play well. Kids who play well have fun. Kids who are having fun, tend to win. And who doesn’t want to see their kids win?
So why do I day your kid is not that good? Probably because he for she isn’t really that extra special. Please stop burning your coach’s ear to play this one and that one over some other kids. It really is not that important who wins. If it were that important, you could tell me which team your child beat in the second week of September last year. I know you cannot answer this question, neither can your child. Since this is true, winning is not that important. Let’s get back to making good athletes, via good skills. And in the process, allow the kids to have fun.
When they get to the big stage, high school, then we can play the good kids, and play to win. Let the kids have their glory days in high school. And then the truly gifted athletes will go on to play in college.
But my experience has shown me how few kids will make it to the college level. Even with the steep investment in club sports. So remember, your kid is not that good. Just sit back and enjoy the game.